As you may have read elsewhere on this site, here at the Blue Angel we have often observed that pedophilia (the sexual attraction toward pre-pubescent children) functions as a deviant sexual orientation. Of course, pedosexuality (performing sexual acts with children) isn’t necessarily linked to pedophilia nor indeed to any other orientation, but rather to other issues like incest, hypersexuality, a wish for domination or even merely favorable circumstances. » Read more
You can read here an e-mail received by Mrs Bennari from the USA. Once again, we see how the lack of structures for support and counseling abandons people who struggle with pedophile desires (in real life or online) to themselves, alone with their pain and their secret. Many won’t be able to resist becoming sex offenders (in real life or virtually) alone.
I’m happy to discover your website and your work.
I’m from Europe originally, I married with an american woman and I now live in X, USA. I feel involved in the use of child pornography. Despite all the repressive measures in place here and the risk of being caught by the police, I can’t stop even though I tried many times. I don’t have any problems or desires with children in real life, even when I’m alone with them. I see a lot of myself in some testimonies of abstinent pedophiles. And yet I have three children I love and I’m just a good father for them and nothing more. I love and desire my wife, but that doesn’t stop me from diving again in this digital hell, knowing all too well that the children behind the scenes aren’t actors but real victims.
I discovered adult pornography when I was 12, in magazines hidden in my big brother’s bedroom. I watched them rarely at first, but little by little it became like a drug, and after a while, watching and looking for new stuff, I discovered child pornography at 18, and I felt like I was 12 again with my brother’s magazines, with the same arousal and excitement.
When I met my wife, I thougth this need would disappear but I was wrong. I tried to be reasonable and stay clear of websites with children, but I felt stronger urges in that direction. I started sweating heavily during the night, to the point that my wife worried about my health. She was miles away from imagining that I was in real need for a specific help and that if an association like yours had existed already I wouldn’t have gotten to this point of addiction.
Reading your website and all the news articles telling about your work, I found new hope. I’m ready to get help and, if necessary, I will come to France to participate in your dialogue groups. I read that the Blue Angel in the USA isn’t operational yet, do you know when it will open? I think America should develop your work as it perfectly matches the needs of thousands of pedophiles who are abstinent but use child pornography.
I don’t understand why these sites exist, why they are so easily accessible and why the producers and publishers aren’t prosecuted.
Thank you and bravo for what you do, and most of all please continue and transmit this wonderful and admirable work. I also saw that you published a book and I wait for its american release with impatience.
The Pariahs of Miami Beach
By Philippe Coste, originally published on 10/29/2009 by the Express Magazine (France)
The law of a county in Florida forces pedophiles released from prison to live under a bridge, in a camp with no water and no electricity. A purgatory-slum where these outcasts have practically no chance of reinsertion.
Even cops, their worst enemies, advise you to go check it out in the evening, at curfew around 22 hours when the pariahs of America go to sleep in the middle of the bay. You still have to manage to find them under the Julia Tuttle Causeway.
In daytime, at the edge of the huge highway traversing Biscayne Bay, between Miami and the beaches of Miami Beach, thousands of people driving their cars spots the oddly out of place laundry drying near the palm trees. In the evening, despite the neons lights dancing on the far out coastline, the six lanes float on a darkening void. Lacking any bearings, we drive at walking pace so we won’t miss the entry point to a muddy maintenance road that plunges under one of the bridges. It’s there.